Hannah Montana Rocks ....

Sometimes, as a parent you are asked to perform great sacrifices for your children.  Sometimes, parent / child bonding means sitting beside each other ... saying nothing.  Keres ... (its Fijian, don’t ask) ... is the scariest five year old girl on earth.  I really try to say no to her, but can’t.  Her interests include style, fashion, singing, fairies, princesses, getting her photo taken and telling her father what to do.  

To incorporate most of the aforementioned - she told me to watch her heroine in ‘Hannah Montana: The Movie’ last night ... but to be quiet for its entire duration. I duly obliged.

Now this isn’t quite the sacrifice you might imagine.  The TV series has to be one of the best written children’s programmes I’ve seen (I’m being serious for a change!) and the absolute comic genius of Jackson (Miley/Hannah’s brother) is a wonder..... Have I just admitted I like Hannah Montana? .... let’s move on quickly.

I need to explain that the gist of the entire plot for every episode (and hence the film) is that Miley is a plain, normal girl but can put on a blond wig and become Hannah Montana - the most phenomenal teen music sensation in the world ... no one notices the facial similarities ... just the hair colour.  

The movie involves Miley/Hannah returning to her home town in Tennessee. She has become more Hannah than Miley and is a bit pretentious.  She meets a boy with lots of hair.  The boy is salt of the earth.  He has been given a chance to start farming by Miley’s grandma.  If he does up the chicken coup, he can sell the eggs (yes ... the farming ladder has reached mainstream ... I knew it would).  Miley doesn’t understand.  He says you have to start somewhere and that its all about “the climb”.  He stole this from me .... as in - its all in the struggle - but as he has more hair than me and the film was made before I thought of this - I’ll let him off ..... She is working on a song.  He says its OK, but his main criticism is that its not about anything.

In the end, she has let 'barnet boy' down by lying to him.  She does up the chicken coup to say sorry.  She plays a concert in her home town as Hannah but when she sees the boy with the hair style [who by now has grown a huge hat] ... she can’t continue.  She takes off the wig and sings the song she was working on, as her true “Miley self” ... this time its about something ... its about first generation farming ... its about life ... its about the process, not the result ...  its about “The Climb”. The coiffured egg seller boy smiles ... so does Miley ... [sigh].  

Please listen intently to the lyrics ... raise your arms ... sway them from side to side .... and enjoy (without smiling):

The End.  

Keres tells me to stop crying ... I try to do what I am told.  

Who would have thought Miley Cyrus would be the siren for the farming ladder and first generation farmers.  I think we've just found a new theme tune .... watch out, my next karaoke victims .... especially as its in completely the wrong key for a bass baritone!!!